ext_11663: by flyingmachine on LJ (Default)
[identity profile] chiasmus.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] duck_rubber
Hervey, Sigurd. Grocery shopping.



"Come on. What's taking you so long?" Hervey tapped his foot impatiently, leaning against the open door frame, then giving that up to pace back and forth in the hallway. He didn't have a watch to check, so instead he stuck his head out the open window. The sun was already well up, though hadn't quite reached overhead yet. It told him little beyond the fact that it wasn't going to be a rainy day.

"All right, let's go." Sigurd emerged, closing the door to his apartment as he joined Hervey, looking tired though no longer disheveled. He would have regretted giving Hervey a key if that had been the case. But no, his friend had filched his and had a copy made when he first moved in 'just in case of an emergency'. Usually this came into play when Hervey did something stupid and Lilah kicked him out for the night. "It's not like the grocery stores are going anywhere."

Taking the steps two at a time, Hervey frowned. "I know that, but who knows how long it'll take? We'll be running all over the city for all sorts of oddities. Like pickles with chocolate syrup."

Sigurd made a face. "Did Lilah ask for that?"

"No, but you know pregnant women. They want all sorts of crazy food."

Silence met that from Sigurd's end. Sighing, he grabbed Hervey by the arm before they could exit the building.

"Hey!"

He fished in the other's pockets and produced a crumpled piece of paper, ignoring Hervey's affronted look.

"I'm a married man now! You can't just go groping me whenever you feel like it. Not that you could before, either, but that's beside the point."

Sigurd ignored Hervey as he unfolded the grocery list and skim read it. "This all looks perfectly normal to me, and all available at the store on the corner."

"Just because she asked for those things, doesn't mean she really wants them."

In response, Sigurd stared point blank at Hervey. Hands on his hips, he continued indignantly. "You know how they get, trying to act reasonable to get you in trouble when you don't come home with all the weird stuff they think you should just know about."

"Sometimes I hardly think you know your wife at all."

"I know her very well! I just don't know what she's like pregnant 's all."

Sighing, Sigurd pushed the door to the building open and stepped out into the street. "I don't think there's any condition in existence that could make her anywhere near as illogical as you are."

Hervey snorted, falling into step beside Sigurd. "I am perfectly logical, thank you very much. It's not my fault if the rest of the world can't see the method to my brilliance."

"You keep telling yourself that when Lilah makes you try all the weird 'pregnancy food' you think she wants."

Horrified, Hervey stopped. "She wouldn't really do that, would she?"

Sigurd kept walking, not bothering to wait. Carelessly he tossed the words over his shoulder. "You never know. It's less likely if you just stick to the list."

Hurrying to catch up, Hervey overtook Sigurd and turned to face him as he walked backwards. "But I'm not pregnant! I don't want things like diced squid pancakes."

"... I would ask where you come up with these things, but I really do not want to know. Dog."

"Huh?" Hervey glanced over his shoulder just in time to see he had nearly trampled a small terrier. "Ack." He stepped over the animal just in time, twisting himself around in the process so he was facing the proper direction. Sigurd found it almost impressive how the other didn't even miss a beat as he resumed the conversation. "See? Like I said, they aren't in their right minds when in this condition."

"Again, I don't think this is an issue Lilah is faced with."

"We'll see about that."

"Yes we will. Here we are. Let's find you some squid."
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April 2007

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